Departure Day: Final Thoughts

We made it to the end of this journey. I want to make sure that I capture not only his final moments with us, but everything I am thinking and feeling. 

Thursday was his last full day with us, but good-byes had to come early. John said bye to Rick early in the morning before work. Rick and John were very close and I thought that John might cry, but he didn't. I guess when you have to say good-bye as much as John has, you just learn not to cry. We spent the morning picking up the house and doing some last minute packing. All 5 of my kids had a dentist appointment that day. (I know, horrible planning... but getting 5 kids to the dentist is a nightmare to reschedule!) John was very good at the dentist! We were there for just over 2 hours, but he watched the movies and played his ipad. We got Wendy's for lunch, and he played a little bit with the kids.

Then came the time to say good-bye to all the kids so we could make the trip to Nashville. I think John was ready to get the show on the road, because he was in the car and ready! The kids came out to say good-bye to him. I have realized that John just removes himself and avoids talking when he is starting to get upset. The good-byes were short, and we were on our way to Nashville. We stayed with my brother and his wife, and they got KFC for John's last dinner in the States. John was happy!

Ready to go!

John wanted to explore the house, imagine that. He thought my brother's dogs were crazy (they are) and he had some good laughs watching them. The evening was spent eating and playing electronics. I wasn't going to push the bedtime because I knew it would be best if he was tired on the plane. 

John and Molly

These dogs kept licking him, so he kept his arm up just in case!

Hanging with gong-gong (by the way, that is not a real Chinese word) My dad looked up grandfather in Chinese. Not sure what he looked at, but John cracked up laughing every time he said it. The name stuck. 

John went to bed at 9:00 (which is 10:00 our time) and went right to sleep. We had to wake up at 2:45 in order to leave by 3:15 and make it to the airport by 4:00 in the morning. I thought to myself, "FINALLY! A morning where I will have to wake up John, and he won't wake me up!" So silly of me to even think such a thing. At 1:45 in the morning (yes, you read that correctly...) John came to my room and said, "hello, mommy!" Agghhhhhh!!!! Even the days he had to wake up early, he found a way to make it earlier! I told him to go back to bed, and he tried. Then a few minutes later he came back and said he needed water. So I got him water and put him back to bed. Then a few minutes later he came and got in bed with me. Then a few minutes after that he asked for the iPad... you get the picture, homeboy couldn't sleep. When my alarm went off at 2:45, he said, "OK, mommy let's go!" I think he was ready to see his friends and get going with all of the travel. 

We made it safely to the airport and met up with the group. I was stressing about John's luggage. We were told 1 backpack and I just couldn't do it. He had a backpack and a rolling carry-on suitcase. He is 11, and big enough to manage it, and I couldn't make him pick what he wanted to go and what he wanted to stay. It all ended up being OK. 

We sat together for about 30 minutes while the chaperone got the tickets. Then it was time for good-bye. I started crying instantly. I was going to miss him, but it was even more than that. Just looking at the 5 kids in the Nashville group. 3 of the boys had families that were pursuing adoption. The girls did not. It just really upset me that those precious little girls could potentially grow up in the orphanage, and this might be their only taste of a family life. To hear the families yell out, "I love you!!!!" over and over again to those girls just tore me up. Goodness, I hope they know how loved they are. To watch John walk away felt so weird. So thankful that his future will hold a family. So thankful he was old enough to understand what was going on. Just like that, they were gone!

Our group at 4:00 am! 3 of the 5 children have interested families. That is amazing! 

Walking away... this made me tear up all over again

The agency likes us to stay until the flight takes off, just in case there are delays or something else happens with the kids. It took the kids a very long time to get through the ticket line and security, and then we saw them running down the terminal for the gate. Our volunteer that was them said they got on the plane with 43 seconds to spare! There were 13 passengers behind them that did not make the flight. That was a close one! Thank you, Lord, for getting them on that plane!

We got word later in the afternoon that the kids made it to LA, and then made it on their International flight to Beijing. 

One thing that stood out to me in this picture, was John's smile. In the arrival pictures, he was never smiling. Here are the LA kids ready to head toward Beijing. 

So, that's the end, my friends! In some ways the last month flew by and in some ways I thought it would never end. I was tired, and that seemed to be the theme of many of the host families. But just to know that the future of these children will be drastically different by saying YES to hosting, makes it all worth it. Our lives will be changed forever by knowing John. I will never be able to look at a map of China, and not think of him. I will never be able to look at minecraft (or TNT) without hearing his giggle. I will never look at our Lego sets the same, without seeing his sweet smile. Without hosting, John would likely not have been adopted. He's too old... and a boy. The reality is that his story might not have been heard, and I am thankful that God used our family to shout his story to our community! Many of you were touched by John's story and it is my sincere hope that you will do something with that. Please consider hosting, because it works. My next goal is to get 5 or 6 families in the Louisville area to host next year. That would be 5 or 6 more children that would have a chance of life outside of the orphanage.

I love this verse from the Fight Song by Rachel Platten: 

Like a small boat

On the ocean

Sending big waves

Into motion

Like how a single word

Can make a heart open

I might only have one match

But I can make an explosion

Yes! We are just small boats on the ocean, but you can never underestimate what God can do with you. He can take your small act of obedience, and send big waves into motion! Through YOU, he can find a family for an aging out orphan. Through YOU he can inspire other people to adopt or host, and that ripple effect could go on forever. So, please my friends... use that one match that you have been given to cause an explosion. It will be worth it, I promise!

Please read these articles to learn more about the adoption of boys, and what it means to age out. Read here and here. 

January 12 and 13: Day 26 and 27

Goodness, I can't believe that we are this close to the end. I guess I should start with yesterday. We had an unexpected snow day from school and I was so thankful! John had an eye doctor appointment at 10:00 in the morning that Rick was supposed to take him to. Rick had an important meeting to attend at work, and I really needed to be at work, too. Thankfully, it all worked out with the snow day and I was able to take him. His eyes were pretty good! He had a small prescription, but it can definitely wait until he has more permanent care. I would like to give a big THANK YOU to Dr. Shelton and the staff at 20/20 eye care. They were so sweet to us and donated the entire exam. What an amazing gift! 

Thank you for helping us!

He spent the rest of the day building Lego sets. So, I spent my whole day digging for missing pieces to these Lego sets.

A small sample of what we were digging through all day!

John also spent some time playing outside with the boys. He loved to sled (even though we hardly have any snow!) He spent several hours outside. My kids love to paint, and I have been promising them we would get the paint out. John got to participate, and he painted a picture of a horse. He wasn't really into it, but I am happy he did it. It will be a nice keepsake. 

Rick spent the day with John today. Rick had a dentist appointment, so John tagged along. The kids got out of school early today, so Grandma and Aunt Carol came to spend the afternoon with everyone. Most of John's day was spent with Legos again!

Aunt Julie sent us money to take him to Chuck-e-Cheese's, so we did that tonight. (Thank you, Julie!!)He had a great time! He had a lot of fun playing the games and earning tickets. I think he was a little overwhelmed purchasing the prizes, but we finally found some things he liked. It was really a great time! As we were walking into the restaurant, a man came up to us and asked if we were talking all the kids in to play. We said yes, and he handed us a giant bag of quarters! It had over $50 in it!!!! He just gave it to us and then walked away. What a cool, random act of kindness!

Thank you to the person who gave this to us!

He was amazed at all of the tickets coming out

All smiles! He earned 400 tickets (with the help of Rick!)

I have been stressing about packing him for his return trip. He has so much more stuff than when he came. I made a few shirts disappear. He hasn't worn them much, and there really wasn't room. Also, it is very mild weather where he lives. He won't need really heavy things. I tried to take a fleece sweatshirt out and he got upset. He wants to take it ALL. He even put in some of Andrew's Lego sets... I told him that there is not room for that much stuff and he can only take one. He got so upset. He was packing wrappers from candy, and any little trinket he could find. It was really hard to watch. Rick and I took the suitcase out of his room so he wouldn't be tempted to put more junk in there. We told him he didn't need his blue coat in China. He got SO upset. He said "yes blue coat" and ran downstairs to get it. He came with a heavy jacket and a vest and he has to wear those back because they don't fit in the bag. We told him he could take it if he would wear all 3 coats. He said he would. We have a few more things to squeeze in, but it is SO tight in there now. If his bag gets searched at the airport, all his stuff might not get back in there. We really have it shoved in tight. 

He will not talk to us about leaving. He will change the subject or walk away when we bring it up. I am sure this is a learned response when things get hard. We told him he has to say good-bye to Rick tomorrow morning and he said "OK." He will say good-bye to the kids tomorrow afternoon, and then we head out to Nashville, just the two of us. I hope he doesn't cry because then I will cry. I will do one more post of departure day. Please pray for John as this experience comes to an end. 

January 10 and 11: Day 24 and 25

The big excitement for Sunday was SNOW!!! John has never seen snow before. He ran downstairs so excited. He opened the door and held it in his hands, like he just couldn't believe it. 

We left early for church, but he wanted to stand in the snow first

John attended the last church service with us. It's weird to think that next weekend he won't be with us. I spent the afternoon working at school, and Rick took the kids out to play in the snow. He spent a very long time going up and down the yard with the snow shovel. He was really fascinated by it!

I was back to work on Monday, so John was with Rick today. They ran a few errands and spent some time playing in the snow. Rick let him walk on the ice in our creek, but there was one shallow part where he told him not to go. I think something was lost in translation, because John stepped right where Rick told him not to and then fell in the creek. He acted it out for me tonight. SO FUNNY!

John got some mail today. Thanks, Eden! It came all the way from Africa. John got an African souvenir  to take back with him. Rick showed him where Namibia is on the map, so he could understand where it came from. 

We spent some time together talking through the app tonight. He loves maps, and loves to look at different places around the world. I showed him LA in California, because he will be flying there in just a few days. We looked at Arizona and Utah and I told him there were many fun things to see on that side of America. He showed me Mongolia and Inner Mongolia, I guess because Hannah is from Inner Mongolia. He searched for Kentucky, and the University of Kentucky came up. I asked if he would go to college, and he said "Yes, MIT!" Later he said Harvard. I told him if he works hard he could do it, but he told me it was too much money. I love that this kid has dreams! I also love that he is so curious and always researching about different topics. We have not let him get on the Internet the last few days because we can't monitor what he is doing. I let him do it tonight because I was right there with him. (Not that I could read what he was searching, but I like to keep my eye out for the ads that pop up, etc)

Rick took John to get KFC again today. He only has 3 days left to eat fast food! He told me through the app that it was very slow.... and then he said, "and it's a FAST FOOD restaurant." My, my. Haven't we started acting like an impatient American in our short time here. Ha!

We are expecting more snow tomorrow. It is supposed to be bad in the morning and John has an eye doctor appointment. I am not sure if we will make it to the appointment or not. I guess we will see what happens in the morning. 

Our days aren't too exciting as we near the end. I am trying to wrap my brain around packing and saying good-bye to him. It will feel different around here without him. 

Arm wrestling... this has nothing to do with this post. Just typical behavior with these 2!

They like to try to pick each other up. John is proud of himself for picking up Andrew. (If you could see how skinny his arms are, you would be proud, too!) Notice Andrew is in shorts and a t-shirt and our friend from southern China is in his winter coat, with 4 layers of shirts. He is also wearing 2 pairs of pants!

January 8 and 9: Day 22 and 23

Friday was a boring day around here. We had plans for me to go to the doctor for my eye, but Matthew woke up sick so those plans were cancelled. We spent the morning in the doctor's office so Matthew could get a breathing treatment and get his asthma back in control. After that we had to get medicine, so the whole trip took awhile. Matthew didn't have any energy, so he spent the day on the couch watching movies. I did laundry, and John did a little bit of everything. He told Rick it was a boring day. ha! I agree!

Friday night, Andrew had a science night to attend at a local school. Rick took John and Andrew. John enjoyed watching the experiments and playing with the blocks and gears. I really see a bright future for this little engineer! He went to bed at 9:30, which is a tad earlier than the last few nights. I woke up at 4:00 in the morning to check on my daughter, and John was wide awake playing in his room. At this point, it isn't worth trying to fix it. In a few days he will be back on China time. I told him he had to stay in his room until 6:00, and then I shut the door. I think he fell back asleep because he didn't come down until 7:00.

Saturday morning Rick took the boys to a pancake breakfast fundraiser for a local baseball team. (Thanks for the tickets, Doug!) The boys spent the rest of the morning playing outside. We decided to go to the movies later this afternoon to see Star Wars. I think John enjoyed it! All of the action kept his attention, even though he didn't understand what they were saying. He also enjoyed the popcorn and the coke.

Tonight for dinner he asked for noodles. Rick made him some spiral noodles and he ate them with ketchup. Let me remind you that he would not touch spaghetti... but noodles smothered in ketchup seems to be just fine. 

We have been talking about him leaving, just so it is not a surprise. I asked him how he feels and he says he doesn't know. I am sure that means he has mixed feelings. I know he is sad to leave, but also happy to get back to the "normal" of his life. We were trying to pack a few things in his bag tonight. I think some of his new clothes will have to end up staying here. I'm not sure I can squeeze it all in, but we will try. He wanted to make sure the Legos got in there. :) We can make that happen!

Building at science night

Science night

Science night

STAR WARS!!!

Anyone want ketchup on their noodles?

January 7: Day 21

Nothing too exciting happened today. I am sure John thinks that Rick is way more fun than me! We had an appointment in the middle of the day, so we did a little bit of running this morning and then got lunch at O'Charley's later in the day. On our way out this morning, I used my Starbucks gift card to get my favorite drink. John was begging me for a cup of coffee! Rick gives him coffee every morning. I ordered him a small one, and he sucked it right down. Who knew? He is a lover of Starbucks coffee!

He drinks everything with a straw. Even coffee!

We stopped in Target to get him a new bag to take back. He had his heart set on this specific bag. I told him it might be too small, but we will try it. When I told him it was too small, he told me it was "an appropriate size." I don't know how I am going to get all of his things back to China! 

There was absolutely no changing his mind.

He always carries the bags for me. He doesn't let me hold anything!

We ordered all of his pictures and started his memory book. He loves it! It ended up being really thick... one more thing to squeeze into that suitcase. I am so happy he will have a way to remember this trip. 

John was dragging today... he was so tired. He told me that he has a rest time in China. It is from 11:30-2:00 every day. Shut the front door! This information would have been useful 3 weeks ago. That is my kind of rule! A mandatory nap? Sounds like heaven. When it was time to pick up the kids from school, he asked if he could stay home and sleep. HA! Nice try, but no. He put the seats down in the car and snoozed while we waited in car line. When the kids got in, they started in with their arguing about who would sit where... and John kept saying (in English) "SHHHHH.... JOHN IS SLEEPING" haha, it made me giggle. 

This was our second trip back up to school to get Andrew after one of his clubs. He hung out the top yelling "And-a-reeeew...."

We worked on thank you cards this afternoon. So many people have given us money or gift cards for fun experiences while he is here. I wanted him to write 'thank you' on all of the cards. I am so fascinated by the Chinese characters. It is really amazing. I feel like you would have to be a genius to learn that language. 

He spent the rest of the day playing outside with the kids and tinkering around the house, what he does best. We had an interesting conversation tonight. John loves maps, and he loves to see where we are and what is around him. We actually found where he lives on google maps, and he showed us the path he walks to go to school. Very cool! Technology just amazes me. We told him that we love China and that one day we will take our family there. We told him we will go to Beijing or Guangzhou, and he said we should come to his town because it is a "good economic zone." I thought that was cute. 

He is still awake as I type this! We have been letting him stay up later in hopes that he sleeps through the night. So far, it has been working. One week to go!

January 5 and 6:Day 19 and 20

With my crazy work schedule I have not been able to update. John has had a lot of adventures over the last 2 days. 

On Tuesday, he got to eat at Long John Silvers. Get it? Long... John. He saw the sign and thought it was pretty funny that it had his 2 names and he has wanted to eat there ever since. He got a big 'ole platter of fried fish and hush puppies. Rick said it took him 45 minutes to eat it. He said he liked it, but he hasn't asked to go back. 

Not a flattering picture, but we had to document another fried meal!

The highlight of Tuesday was going to the dentist. I want to give a special thanks to Dr. Catron and Kelly from Mortenson Dental. Also a special thanks to Lisa for coordinating the appointment for us. These folks donated a cleaning, xrays, and an exam for John! Overall, things looked really good. He needs to have some teeth pulled so new ones can grow, but that's about it. Nothing was pressing, and it all can wait until he has permanent care. So thankful for these people that gave of their time and their talents to help our little friend!

In the waiting room

He was so good for them!

Getting x-rays

So thankful for the service they provided!

Wednesday was a busy day for John! They left the house around 9:00 in the morning and didn't get back until they picked the kids up from school. They started out by walking the bridge from Kentucky to Indiana. It was cold, but they still had fun.

After this they went to the zoo. It is cold outside so there was no one there. It was fun for John to see the animals up close. 

They ate at McDonald's today and it was another Big Mac for lunch. Rick said he ate every last bit of it. After the zoo, it was a trip to Cabela's and then a trip to Costco. In Cabela's they were looking at tents and John said something about sleeping. Rick said, "yes, those are for sleeping." John said, "no, I want to sleep in the car." Ha! I guess he was tired from all the walking and everything they had done. I wish he would get that tired at NIGHT!

I am noticing that he is really picking up on more English. He will learn this language in no time. Whenever Timmy starts to cry, he always says "Timmy crazy" and if the little kids are bothering him he says "please stop." Ha, ha. He got that from me. I say "please stop" many times a day with those little boogers. His #1 English phrase is "WHAT'S THIS?" He says it, on average, 100 times a day. He wants to know what EVERYTHING is called. If he doesn't like your explanation, he will look it up on Google. Told ya, he is a curious little guy.

Rick is back to work tomorrow and I will be running around to appointments with John. Hopefully we can find something fun to do at some point, but Rick seemed to cover most of them. I told John we have 1 week left. He didn't smile, or frown, and he just said "OK." Sometimes I wish language was not such a barrier so we could figure out exactly what he was thinking.